1. Train your confidence like a muscle
People often use confidence as a personality trait – "They're so confident" – but it's actually more situational than that. For example, you might be a confident public speaker, but become a bag of nerves when you have to drive a car.
Think about a situation or area you feel confident in. Ask yourself: why am I confident in this? What does being confident mean to me? Are there any traits here that I can apply to other areas where I might not be as confident?
Remember: practise makes perfect. The more you train your confidence, like you would a muscle, by building knowledge and getting experience, the more confident you'll be.
2. Remember the power of "I am"
How do you describe yourself? I am nervous? I am rubbish at this? Whatever statement you make after "I am", your brain is going to believe. And we can be our harshest critics, with our internal voices describing ourselves in a way we would never apply to someone else.
So it's crucial you label yourself how you want to be seen. The more you say it, the more your brain will believe it.
3. Celebrate your achievements
When a million things go right, why is it that we fixate on the one thing that didn't? We need to focus more on our achievements and celebrate them.
One way is to keep a 'Win of the day' list, on an Excel spreadsheet, in a notebook – wherever works for you! It doesn't have to be anything grand, it could simply be "I got stuck in traffic today and didn't get stressed." By acknowledging your achievements, you'll validate yourself and boost your confidence.
4. Embrace feedback
By giving ourselves a pat on the back, we'll strengthen our resilience so we'll be in a better place to embrace feedback and the opportunity to learn.
Rather than shying away from feedback in case it knocks our confidence, we can be secure in our accomplishments and see this as an opportunity to grow and be even better. If you're nervous, start with someone who you trust to give you constructive criticism and go from there.
5. Stop seeking external validation
If you're seeking external validation, you're looking for others to approve of you or your actions. It means you're constantly comparing yourself to others, sensitive to criticism and letting your emotional state depend on others' opinion.
As well as it not being wise to allow your confidence to depend on someone else, it's also not realistic to expect someone else to validate and congratulate your every move.
Instead, we should be fuelled by internal validation. We can do that by comparing ourselves to the person we were yesterday, rather than someone else. And by following your intuition and seeking fulfilment, rather than seeking someone else's approval.
Don't stop now
Find out more about boosting your inner confidence by watching the full session in our knowledge bank.
Visit Alice's website for more insight and practical advice around boosting confidence, time management and more.
